Twisted Ears
by I. H. Scribe
Summary: Amy Pond drags Jim Moriarty into Stark Tower by his ear. Natasha assures them this is all perfectly normal.


Fandoms: Avengers, Doctor Who, Sherlock

Characters: Amy Pond, Jim Moriarty, Tony Stark

Prompt: strange family/relatives

Prompt Made By: theoncomingwind

Disclaimer: I don't own the following series(es) or any character(s) that follow, and unless _I. H. Scribe_ is listed after _Prompt Made By_ chances are I don't own the idea for this story either.

* * *

The Avengers – minus Tony and Bruce, who were downstairs in the lab, and Steve, who was still on his roadtrip – and Coulson watched as a red-headed woman , who was not Pepper, dragged a black-haired man, who was not Tony, through the halls of Stark Tower.

"Relax," Natasha said. "It's perfectly normal. Amy does it all the time."

"Amy?" Coulson asked, before he shook his head. "That was James Moriarty."

"Yes it was," Natasha said.

"Being dragged around by his ear," Coulson said.

"Yes he was," Natasha said.

"Why?"

"Last time she did it was because he ate her chocolate," Natasha said. "The time before that was because he wouldn't shut up about that TV show Glee."

"Who is she?"

"Amelia Pond. She's Moriarty's older half-sister."

"Half-sister? Don't tell me," Coulson said, grimacing. "Stark?"

"Stark," Natasha confirmed.

"Dammit," Coulson said, pulling out his phone to update Fury. They had always wondered what would happen if Stark went off the deep end and became a villain. With James Moriarty for a son, they now had an idea."

"I do not understand," Thor said. "Who is this James Moriarty?"

"He's a criminal," Clint explained. "_The_ criminal. He stole the Crown Jewels in England, in full view of the cameras and witnesses, and he _still_ got let off with a not guilty verdict."

"Shall we teach him the error of his ways!?" Thor asked.

"Stark will be pissed if we hurt his one of his kids," Natasha said. "Besides, he doesn't have any superpowers, or alien armies, so he's not our problem."

"Thank god," Clint said. "I'd hate to get on that man's bad side."

"Stark's or Moriarty's?"

"Both!"

* * *

Tony Stark was a genius inventor and scientist, but had one unfortunate flaw – actually, he had several, but this was his biggest – a beautiful woman could very easily distract him from everything except getting her into bed (at least, that's what would happened before he began dating Pepper).

It happened so often that people were surprised he hadn't fathered any illegitimate children yet. Those closer to him, were surprised there was only two – two who were both very similar to and very different from each other and their father.

The oldest was Amelia, or rather Amy, Pond, a red-headed and terrifying Scotswoman that currently lived in Leadworth with her boyfriend, Rory Williams. Her mother, Tabetha Pond (Westwood when Tony had met her) had been pregnant with her when she had met Augustus Pond.

The younger was James Moriarty, or rather Jim Moriarty. His mother, Sara Moriarty, was an alcoholic – which incidentally, is how she ended up in bed with Tony – and had named all three of her sons (by different men) James. The three of them had decided amongst themselves, who would be who, and so the oldest was James Moriarty – a Colonel currently stationed in Iraq – the youngest was Jaime Moriarty – a Station Manager in, ironically enough, Leadworth – leaving the middle brother, Tony's son, with Jim.

Amy and Jim had both inherited Tony's stubbornness, but Jim had gotten more of his intelligence than Amy. Jim and Tony both gave an act to the press – Tony had helped set up the Richard Brook alias in case Jim ever decided to stop being a villain – while Amy didn't care what anyone, much less the press, thought of her.

On occasion, while visiting his younger brother, Jim would end up doing something to piss Amy off, leading to her dragging him to Gloucester's airport where one of their father's jets was always waiting for them, and then to Tony's home in Malibu, or in this case Stark Tower, by his ear.

"What did he do this time?" Tony asked. It always amused him that his son, _the_ master criminal, was so easily cowed by his older sister grabbing his ear and twisting.

"He hired someone to kill Rory!" Amy growled.

"I did not!" Jim said.

"Are you saying that assassin didn't work for you!?"

"Of course he does!"

"So you admit you sent him after Rory!"

"What!? No! Seb was only scaring him a little!"

"I don't need you or your minions to scare people for me! I can do that myself, and I'm not letting you chase away the one guy that has actually stuck around! I swear to God, you're worse than Mel!"

"I am not!" Jim's voice took on a whiny tone.

"Children!" Tony said, interrupting them. "As much as I would love to see the outcome of this fight – Sorry Jimmy, my money's on Amy – I have to fix the suit," Tony gestured to the damaged Iron Man suit in pieces on the table in front of him. "So, Amy, don't compare your brother to Mel. You know he's scared of her. Jim, stop sending your minions to test Rory. I've already spoken with him, he's great. Are we good?"

Both of them gave an affirmative, and Tony turned back to his suit, as the two left the lab, Amy still latched onto his ear. "And Amy," Tony called out, "Stop dragging your brother around by his ear. It's embarrassing."

"Who were they?" Bruce asked curiously.

"My brats. I'd say a chip of the ol' block, but Amy'd attack the block with a baseball bat and Jim'd blow it up."

* * *

"Oh, hey Natasha," Amy said. "How are things?"

"Great. You? How's Rory?"

"Not-so-great. And Jim tried to have Rory killed."

"I only meant to scare him!" Jim exclaimed.

"James Moriarty!" Thor boomed. "We must speak of your crimes."

Jim looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He let out a hysterical giggle before taking off towards the door.

"Return and face me, knave!" Thor yelled, giving chase.

"He doesn't seem so scary now that I've seen Thor chase him," Clint said. "Still wouldn't want to get on his bad side, though."

* * *

Amy, before Eleven returns after saying five minutes, and Jim shortly after getting the not guilty verdict.

As always, I am accepting prompts, however, I am not accepting prompts through reviews. If you wish to give me a prompt, please see the Accepting Prompts section of my profile for instructions. Thank you.

I. H. Scribe


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